I didn’t grow up thinking my childhood was bad.
I thought it was just… life.
Because everyone around me was carrying something.
Chaos felt familiar.
Struggle felt familiar.
Figuring things out on your own felt familiar.
So I didn’t question it.
I just adjusted.
I just kept going.
And even in all of that — I found ways to hold onto the good.
Not to convince myself everything was fine.
But because I needed something to hold onto.
My mom telling me I was smart.
My mom telling me I was capable.
Moments where things felt okay.
Moments where I felt seen.
I held onto all of it.
But here’s what I can see now that I couldn’t see then.
God was there the whole time.
In the chaos.
In the confusion.
In the moments that made no sense.
He was covering me.
Placing the right people in my path at exactly the right time.
I didn’t always recognize it.
But looking back — it’s undeniable.
And I think that’s why I move the way I move.
I don’t dwell on what went wrong.
Not because it didn’t hurt.
Not because it didn’t matter.
But because I’ve seen too many times where things could’ve gone left… and didn’t.
That perspective built something in me that no degree, no title, no résumé line could ever replicate.
Resilience.
Faith.
The ability to keep going when nothing makes sense.
As a leader — I don’t panic easily.
I’ve been through worse.
I’ll figure it out.
As a mother — this shapes everything.
I want my daughter to be strong and feel safe.
I don’t want her to normalize what I normalized.
I want her to understand life without having to carry it the way I did.
As a woman — I’ve had to sit with this truth:
Just because something was normal doesn’t mean it was necessary.
I can appreciate what made me strong without recreating it.
I can honor what I’ve been through without needing to relive it.
I can choose something different — and so can you.
That’s what growth actually looks like.
Not erasing where you came from.
Recognizing that where you came from doesn’t have to be where you’re going.
That’s part of my Herformation.
And maybe you’re starting to see that in your story too.

Leave a comment