Under Construction

The other night, Aubrie and I were watching Inside Out 2.

Then the alarm went off.

Puberty.

And suddenly, everything changed.

Workers rushed in.

Walls came down.

New systems were being built.

Old ones were being stretched beyond what they were designed to handle.

Nothing looked organized.

Nothing looked finished.

It looked chaotic.

And I remember thinking...

Yep. That looks about right.

Because that is exactly what becoming feels like.

Not polished.

Not predictable.

Not linear.

Messy.

Right now, I am building something new.

The Access and Opportunity Community Foundation is officially underway.

And let me tell you...

this is new territory for me.

I have spent the past three years in learning mode.

Real learning mode.

Not the polished kind where you take a class, earn a certificate, and suddenly feel qualified.

I mean the kind where you ask questions.

Watch people who know more than you.

Take every conversation seriously.

Read.

Research.

Experiment.

Try things.

Break things.

Fix things.

Try again.

I have soaked up anything anyone was willing to teach me.

Some ideas worked beautifully.

Some are still growing.

Some are thriving in ways I never expected.

And some?

Complete failures.

Like...

"Well, we will never do that again."

And I mean that with love.

Because failure has become one of my best teachers.

Every failed experiment eliminated one wrong direction.

Every uncomfortable lesson sharpened the next decision.

Every idea that didn't work forced me to ask a better question.

That is what building actually looks like.

We love the launch.

We love the ribbon cutting.

We love the finished logo.

The beautiful website.

The announcement.

The photos.

The impact report.

What we don't usually show is the part before all of that.

The confusion.

The pivots.

The wrong turns.

The thing you spent three weeks building only to realize it needs to be rebuilt completely.

The moments where you look at everything in front of you and think...

"What exactly have I gotten myself into?"

I've had those moments.

More than once.

And I'm having some of them now.

Because building the Access and Opportunity Community Foundation means stepping into spaces where I am not the expert.

Yet.

That word matters.

Yet.

There is a version of me from years ago who would have thought I needed to know everything before I began.

I don't believe that anymore.

I believe I need to be responsible enough to learn.

Humble enough to listen.

Curious enough to ask.

Confident enough to move.

And wise enough to change direction when the evidence tells me I should.

That's very different from needing to know everything.

I've also learned that when something is growing, sometimes it outgrows the structure that used to hold it.

That was the part of Inside Out 2 that stayed with me.

The chaos wasn't happening because everything had gone wrong.

It was happening because the old system could no longer contain who Riley was becoming.

Whew.

Read that again.

Sometimes the mess is not proof that you're failing.

Sometimes it is proof that the old structure cannot hold the next version of you.

That applies to people.

Businesses.

Families.

Organizations.

Dreams.

Even purpose.

There are seasons where things have to come apart a little...

so they can come back together differently.

That is where I am right now.

Learning.

Building.

Questioning.

Testing.

Adjusting.

Some days moving fast.

Some days realizing I need to slow down and learn more.

But moving.

And I am okay with the mess now.

Because I know what it means.

Something is being built.

Something is growing.

Something is becoming.

And that is the part I wish more women understood.

You do not have to be embarrassed by the construction phase.

You do not have to hide until everything looks finished.

You do not have to wait until the story is neat before you tell people you are building something.

Let them see the scaffolding.

Let them see the learning.

Let them see the version that is still figuring it out.

Because becoming is not something that happens after the mess.

The mess is part of the becoming.

And the reward?

It is not only the foundation once it is built.

It is the woman I am becoming while I build it.

The knowledge I did not have three years ago.

The relationships I would not have formed.

The questions I would not have known to ask.

The confidence that only comes from trying something, failing, learning, and trying again.

That is the reward.

The journey.

The stretch.

The growth.

The becoming.

So if your life feels a little under construction right now...

Good.

Look around.

Something may be expanding.

Something may be outgrowing its old walls.

Something may be preparing you for a room you have not entered yet.

Stay with it.

Learn.

Adjust.

Build.

And do not confuse the dust with destruction.

Sometimes...

it is simply evidence that the renovation has finally begun.

That's part of my Herformation.

And maybe...

yours too.

If you are in a season of becoming, explore the Five Discoveries and name what the current construction may be making room for.